What are your nightmare cars?

"Jim Spanfeller" (awesomeaustinv) 02/19/2020 at 23:32 • Filed to: None

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A lot of people talk about their dream cars. It’s a commonly asked question. You probably know what your dream car is. Mine’s a Citroen DS. That’s all fine and dandy, b ut today I don’t care what your dream car is; let’s talk about nightmare cars! The term “n ightmare car” can be interpreted several different ways. It could be the car that most terrifies you to drive for whatever reason . It could be the car that most terrifies you to take on as a project. It could be the car that you dread being seen in above all else. I’d say my nightmare car is a Cerbera S peed 12, because if it was too scary for TVR of all companies, then it must be too scary for the rest of us too. I’m not real picky about the definition , I just want to know what cars   strike fear into your very hearts and why. So... What cars do you recoil in horror upon seeing? What cars make you cry for mommy at the thought of driving? What cars do you dread the mere thought of above all others? What are your nightmare cars?

ItalianJobR53 - now with added 'MERICA and unreliability > Jim Spanfeller 02/19/2020 at 23:49

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Supercharged 1st or 2nd gen Viper. I think it’ll wheelspin at idle lol

Turbo 2nd gen Lotus Elise (friend has one) softer suspension and a massive amount of power (300whp in that). I feel like I would spin it very easily.

wafflesnfalafel > Jim Spanfeller 02/20/2020 at 00:04

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T his is oddly appropriate for me right now - I’m not young... and have been having a series of nightmares where I crash and total Corvettes. A red c5, white c4, an odd cream and orange two tone c5, just a few days ago a beautiful yellow c6 z06 into a tree. It is always because I do something stupid or screw up and I always come out ok but the car is always a total. I think my mid life crisis is having a mid life crisis.. .  What does OPPO suggest?

BaconSandwich is tasty. > Jim Spanfeller 02/20/2020 at 00:09

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I was thinking more of nightmare to work on. Something from VW, like a late 90s Jetta from the rust belt. You either can’t break the fasteners loose, or you break them off. And everything is needlessly complicated and expensive to replace.

J realize that's probably not what they are really like to work on, but that's how I imagine it.

Nom De Plume > Jim Spanfeller 02/20/2020 at 00:52

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Moving past the beginners category of lifestyle accessories. We move into more shriveling libidos than a Corvette run.

“Crews” “Scenes” “Posse’s” ... broad and easily recognizable vehicle fetishizations

Siler (well on past hitting post-irony too sad to laugh at) as a poster boy of this.

Finally, the upper tier of nightmare vehicles.

Just out of warranty S Class

[Hey, will you look at that. A blatant theft from the fp instead of the other way around.]

My current ongoing nightmare car is the Bucktoothed Misanthropic WASP they intend to signify 100 years of future designs.

Akio Ohtori - RIP Oppo > Jim Spanfeller 02/20/2020 at 01:38

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I owned an International Scout once. ONCE.

Distraxi's idea of perfection is a Jagroen > Jim Spanfeller 02/20/2020 at 01:52

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I must be a masochist. My dream cars are also my nightmare cars. I wake up in the night and clutch my wallet like it may be the last time I see it  

smobgirl > Jim Spanfeller 02/20/2020 at 01:56

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Nissan Versa.

pip bip - choose Corrour > Jim Spanfeller 02/20/2020 at 02:02

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Holden Cruze and C(r)aptiva plus anything from the four-ring circus (Audi)

4muddyfeet - bare knuckle with an EZ30 > wafflesnfalafel 02/20/2020 at 02:12

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Buy a C1,2,3, or 7

Jim Spanfeller > BaconSandwich is tasty. 02/20/2020 at 02:21

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Good answer. Imagined terrors are still terrors.

MrDakka > Jim Spanfeller 02/20/2020 at 03:09

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Anything with stance

Nom De Plume > wafflesnfalafel 02/20/2020 at 03:15

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Personalized plates:  TOOCOOL

TRivet > Jim Spanfeller 02/20/2020 at 07:41

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Anything Daewoo

Discerning > Jim Spanfeller 02/20/2020 at 08:43

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I would love a speed 12. Take out the overpowered 12 and put their 6 in its place. Then you still have a beautiful racecar, but without obscene amounts of power.

Alternatively, I would love a Cerb era with the 6 and those aero bits

HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles > Jim Spanfeller 02/20/2020 at 08:55

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Mitsubishi Eclipse Cross, Nissan Rouge, CRV(anything newer than 2nd gen.)

In my mind these are cars I would dread to own/ be seen in. Can you imagine throwing out 3-400 a month on a car payment just to have someone as Wonderbread bland as a Rouge? Or as ugly and useless as a Eclipse Cross? I don’t  want to think about it. Making a car payment sucks no mater what, but at least with my current car it’s pays me back by making by making me smile every time I drive it. 

Jim Spanfeller > Nom De Plume 02/20/2020 at 09:53

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That weird BMW concept bothers me mainly because if the panels can stretch in that weird traingular-meshy way, then how are you supposed to make a die-cast model of it? Or any model of it, for that matter.

Jim Spanfeller > wafflesnfalafel 02/20/2020 at 10:00

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In the dream, try to intentionally crash the C orvette. If trying not to crash the Corvette only results in you doing something stupid and crashing the Corvette, then logically, if you make it your goal to crash from the get-go, then you won’t crash, and then you just get to hoon Corvettes in your dreams! Honestly, this dream probably just symbolizes a fear of being unable to protect the things you care about, or something like that. I’m no expert, but that would be my guess.

functionoverfashion > Jim Spanfeller 02/20/2020 at 10:28

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Automatics that are always in the wrong gear and you can’t select manually

Give me the gear I want or give me death

Nom De Plume > Jim Spanfeller 02/20/2020 at 10:40

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A static model of a car with squared off tire like object would appear highly possible. Another old trick you may not remember is hinged panels that rotate when say a door is opened. Then there is the old monster truck crusher car trickery (stationary but not static) that allowed reforming the body.

That’s just a few off the top of my head. Modern (read, new) solutions are possible.

Jim Spanfeller > Nom De Plume 02/20/2020 at 10:54

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Mostly, I was thinking of the videos I’ve seen of the parts of the car that are covered in tria ngles and whatnot stretching and contracting and stuff. I feel like replicating a complex system like that at a small scale would be extremely difficult, though maybe you could get close by just putting little triangles on some sort of stretchy material...